Loss is never easy, and losing one's remaining parent is one of the hardest types of grief to overcome. While it may take time for your wife to reach the stage of acceptance, you can do what you can to help make the process of moving forward easier during this difficult time. When a person is wracked with grief, it can be difficult to make major decisions. Fortunately, you are there to provide compassionate support to your wife, and you can use these tips to help her plan a funeral for the man who influenced her life from the day she was born.
Start With the Basic Details
Cremation services are often very personalized, and you can choose to do things such as have your father-in-law's favorite music played during the ceremony. However, it is best to ease into the decision-making process by selecting the most basic details first. Ask your wife where she would like to host the memorial service, and be prepared with a few options such as having it at funeral home or at your house to narrow down her decision.
Create a Plan of Order
Memorials following a cremation often involve a series of events that are all planned to bring peace to those who are struggling with the loss. Talk to your wife about people she thinks might like to speak or if she would like to do something special such as a candlighting ceremony. Once you have a list of what she would like to have happen, put it into the appropriate order to be followed. This makes it easier for the officiator to make sure that each thing is done, and you can have the plan of order included on the program so that people know what to expect.
Notify Extended Friends and Family
There are likely people whose lives have been touched by your father-in-law that might not be in your wife's list of contacts. Reach out to your father-in-law's former workplace, clubs and other association to let people know about the service. You may also prefer to post a public notice in the newspaper or online to let others know about the memorial.
While your wife may not be feeling up to planning a social gathering, this is one time where you may need to step up to help her find closure after her father's passing. By being sensitive to her needs and helping her work through the process one step at a time, you can ensure that your father-in-law's memory is honored with dignity and remembrance of a life well lived.
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